|Ready, set, go.
||[Jan. 24th, 2006|12:34 am]
Tanuki's Worst Nightmare
|||||Mazedude - K-Pax for Evermore||]|
Kelley has sent me somewhat of a "prod" through livejournal reminding me that I have not updated in some time. I suppose that recently I find it hard to sit down to write a livejournal. So, I figured if I just sat down now and started writing that perhaps it would start snowballing. Here goes...
Right now, I'm going to have to say that I'm content. Maybe not ecstatic, but far from bad. I've told James many times that a good mood for me is one in which nothing is bothering me, and I should thank some higher power for the ability to live life as quietly as I have recently.
That has to be the reason why I never write on livejournal, nothing really out of the ordinary happens to me. For now, that's for the best. After fooling so many people for so many years into believing I was a woman-chasing, overly loud slacker it's best that now I can spend time learning to open up again and letting love and my nice side breathe again for once. I've arrived at a state where I can be serious about myself and not feel ashamed for it anymore.
Sometimes I find it hard to write about anything. I've once said "Blessed are the lonely, lovesick, depressed, and confused for they never run out of source material." Perhaps there is some truth to that. Maybe if I was sad that I was single I could find more to write about, but since I'll be leaving for a year-long term in Japan in October, and going home to Wilmington ever earlier than that, I find it to be rather wasteful to worry about something so trivial.
I keep saying that I'm 3/5 towards my ideal way of being. I'm human, so perhaps I'll never make it the whole way, but as long as I can take time to see the beauty in the world beyond my cynical lens I tend to see through, I think I'll be just fine. I have a side that wants to help people, but it needs more nurturing. James has suggested that I try volunteering. I think I would like doing just that, after I get into my routine this semester, that is.
That's it for now, I need to get to bed for a change. Night all.